The Stages
by 1980s-popito
Summary: "At the moment, until he wakes up, I can't really give you a sure answer. But honestly, I think it's due to Peggy's death. It's no secret to anyone how hard he's been taking it since she was found at the church right after their wedding. If I'm right, he's going through the seven stages of grief."
_**The Stages**_

"I've never seen him so upset," Perfect Tommy whispered, "Actually, I didn't think it was possible for him to ever act like this."

"He's only been this upset once before in his life," Professor Hikita pointed out, "And that was when he was five years old when his parents were killed by Xan."

"I've been meaning to ask you: what's up with this Xan guy? Why does he hate Buckaroo so much?"

"Because Buckaroo is a Banzai. Problems going back generations between the Banzai family and the Xan family, I believe, is why Xan hates him so much."

Perfect Tommy gave a weird look. "So killed Buckaroo's parents, his wife too- don't take this the wrong way, but why hasn't he tried to kill Buckaroo yet then?"

"I don't know that yet," Professor Hikita sighed, "I always fear that Xan's planning something to do just that, though."

Rawhide, Mrs. John and Pinky Carruthers came running down the hallway. They all had bold looks of worry on their faces, especially the only woman of the group- who had been best friends with Peggy Banzai.

"He's not opening the door," Rawhide said with a sigh, "And he's not even acknowledging the fact that we're there."

"He's practically locked himself alone in that room since the funeral a few days ago," Mrs. Johnson reported in a worried tone, "He's barely come out, barely eaten, and I doubt he's gotten any sleep. I'm really worried about him."

Ever since Peggy's funeral, nothing had been the same around the institute; everywhere you went, it felt like something was missing or like you forgot something when you leave but you can't figure out what it was. Except everyone knew what was missing. It was only a week, and things had begun to go wrong in certain parts of the institute: the greenhouse and the lab that was working on neurological studies, in particular, and then a little bit with the rest of the labs. Unfortunately, when you got right down to it, problems throughout a system always seemed to start at the top. Buckaroo had practically locked himself in his office the whole week after her funeral. He was almost like a recluse: no one saw him and he kept himself hidden from practically everyone. He had never been this way before, and as confirmed by Professor Hikita, had never acted this way during his life except for when he actually realized what had happened to his parents as he grew up. He was always the one to keep his head and composure in situations, and now that he was the one who wasn't- with good reason- no one really knew what to do.

"We need to get in there," Pinky said urgently, "Something could be wrong with him."

"Let me try," Professor Hikita said, then started down the hall quickly. The four younger colleagues followed him until they all reached the office doors labeled, "Dr. Buckaroo Banzai". The professor knocked hard on the door multiple times. "Buckaroo," he called, "If you don't open this door, we're going to come in on our own. You know I have a key."

The four younger scientists gave each other weird looks as the older man took out a key and began to unlock the office door. "He has a key," Perfect Tommy whispered to his friends and colleagues, half stating, half questioning. They watched as the professor unlocked the door and opened it, giving access to their higher up's office. They all rushed inside and looked around for the recent widower frantically. They eyes all fell to the figure that was lying still on the couch that resembled their boss and friend.

When the five ran over to the couch, they were shocked at the sight in front of them. Buckaroo was lying on his back on the couch, unconscious. He looked sickly; he was pale, even in his unconscious state he looked dazed, he just looked… _not right._ This sent the five into a panic, worried about their friend and what had caused his current state. It didn't ease their nerves that the office was a bit disorganized and out of sorts.

"Ok," Rawhide started, "Mrs. Johnson, you get some water. Tommy, get the institute physician and bring her here. Pinky, check in with security to make sure none of Xan's men got in here or that anyone was in here except for Buckaroo. Professor, help me try and wake him up."

"Do we put the place on lock down?" Pinky asked.

"Not unless Xan's men or anyone else got in. Now go!"

The three nodded and ran out of the office to do as they were told as fast as they could. Rawhide and Professor Hikita turned back to try and wake up Buckaroo. "C'mon, buddy," Rawhide muttered as they shook him by the shoulders as hard as they forced themselves to, "C'mon, you gotta get up now. C'mon, get up." The two continued to shake the man violently in attempt to wake him up, also by slightly tapping their hands against his cheeks in attempt to bring his color back. After doing this for five to ten minutes, the scientist began to stir awake, slightly easing the nerves of the cowboy and the professor. The two watched and lessened their strength as he groaned and placed a hand against his head, mumbling, "Stop shaking me like that."

A moment later, the other three came running back into the office, along with the institute physician. Mrs. Johnson gave a slightly relieved look when she saw her boss was awake. "Thank God, you're awake," she breathed out, "Are you alright? What happened?" His only response was slight movement, probably trying to find a comfortable position, and another light groan in pain.

"At least he's awake," Perfect Tommy commented gratefully.

"Yeah, but barely."

"Would you prefer not at all?"

"Enough," Rawhide snapped at the two, "Now's not the time."

The six all stopped what they were doing when they heard mumbling again, but no one could make out what was being said. The physician then rushed over to the couch where Buckaroo was, which made Rawhide and Professor Hikita to jump back away from the furniture. While the institute physician examined their higher up, the five stood awkwardly and nervously at the front of the office desk at the other side of the room. None of them said a word, each one too nervous about how they'd found their boss, their higher up… their friend.

Ten minutes later, the physician walked up to the five. "Ok," she started, "Good news is that it seems so far that this isn't drug related. I'm going to do a blood test once we get him to the infirmary, but I'm ninety-five percent sure there were no drugs involved. Bad news is that I can't really tell quite yet why this happened or what happened, but I will be able to soon. I have a hunch about it, based on certain factors, but I need to verify and prove my hunch. Like I said, I'm bringing him to the institute infirmary, and I'll get back to you all by the end of the night. I would've called an ambulance, but based off of certain events, if this was a certain someone's doing- you all know who- I don't want to risk this all being part of a plan."

As the five geniuses all waited, they sat in the cafeteria. Only a few words were exchanged between them all, only asking questions or letting out their nerves about their current situation. "Did security find any of Xan's men?" Rawhide asked.

Pinky shook his head. "They couldn't find any," he answered, "But you know how sneaky they can be. Hell, one posed as a priest just a week ago."

"Not helping to ease our nerves here when you bring that up," Mrs. Johnson mumbled sadly and she stared down into the coffee in her mug, which had gone untouched the whole day.

That night, just like she said she would, the institute physician went to look for them to report her results. She took all the files she needed and walked to meet them all in the cafeteria, which was empty. She walked up to the round table where they were all sitting. "Alright," she started, "Apparently, Buckaroo was _severely_ dehydrated and there was practically no food in his system. I'm more worried about the dehydration, considering a person can go weeks without food, but only a few days with water. We're giving him liquids, so he should be alright in a few days, though. And thankfully, after going over his blood test, I couldn't find any trace of drugs- and I did a triple check on that, still nothing."

"Why's he so dehydrated?" Professor Hikita asked.

"At the moment, until he wakes up, I can't really give you a sure answer. But honestly, I think it's due to Peggy's death. It's no secret to anyone how hard he's been taking it since she was found at the church right after their wedding. If I'm right, he's going through the seven stages of grief."

"Wait, I thought there were only five stages?" Perfect Tommy asked.

"It's a very debatable point with no real definite answer. Some say there's five, some say there's seven: I say it has certain dependents. Factors like how close a person was with the deceased, the effect on each other's lives, things like that. Now, Buckaroo hasn't really experienced grief since 1955, and even then, he didn't really fully understand what had happened until he got a bit older. But by then, he had already grieved and he already had certain realizations. But that was around twenty-five years ago, so now that's he's going through it and understands right away what happened, it's taking a toll on him, and he has to go through the grieving process."

"What are the seven stages of grief then?" Professor Hikita asked, a bit confused, "And how does that last?"

"Shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, then acceptance- but it does always have to go in that order, with what seems to be the exception of shock and acceptance. Everything else can go either way, it seems. And like I said about the others, it can vary from person to person. One person, it can last a day, one a week, one a month, and so on. It depends with certain personalities, closeness, even age."

"Is there anything we can do to help him?" Mrs. Johnson asked.

"You can watch how he griefs. Once he's able to leave the infirmary, keep a close eye on him, make sure he's doing alright, and that he's hydrated and eating at least a little bit."

One week later- two weeks after Peggy's death- Buckaroo was allowed to leave the infirmary and roam the institute again as he pleased. He didn't say much to anyone unless he was spoken directly to, mostly out of embarrassment from how he'd been found in his office the week previous. The five, along with the institute physician hadn't said anything to anyone else in the institute about what had happened, and if someone else in the institute questioned them if the man in charge was ok, they would only answered "he was sick". They also kept a close eye on him a best as they could without seeming suspicious like the physician had instructed them. They thought they'd been doing a good job, until they'd been called into the office where they'd been a week previous.

"What's going on?" Pink asked when they all arrived and sat down in his office.

"I'm going to cut to the chase here," Buckaroo started to say, "I've noticed that you all have been acting _differently_ around me than usual. And that one of you, if not more, is always within a five foot radius of me with everything I do. I'm just curious what's going on and around here, and thought maybe one of you would know and could tell me."

"We're just making sure you're doing ok, that's all," Perfect Tommy answered with a nonchalant shrug.

Buckaroo shook his head and leaned against the front edge of his desk. "That's not all of it. You've all been tip-toing around me, and quite frankly, it's starting to irritate me. I already have enough to deal with right now, so I want to know what's going on, and I want the truth."

The five all exchanged looks before finally caving in. "We've been told to watch you and make sure you're doing alright," Professor Hikita answered.

"The physician told us to make sure you're taking care of yourself and to watch how you're coping," Mrs. Johnson answered in a soft tone, "We just wanna be here for you if you need us."

Buckaroo nodded slowly in understanding, ran his hand over his face, and looked down at the ground sadly. "Ok," he sighed, "I appreciate all of your concern, but the thing is: I'm not coping. Quite honestly, I think last week was proof of that. Now while I'd like to think it didn't happen, all of us in this room know it did. Another thing is that I feel like I need to get my act together, per say, but I just can't. I mean, I just feel like all that's happened is my fault. I know that Xan has something against me and has all my life, but I still proposed to her, which automatically put her in danger. For crying out loud, he didn't hesitate to kill my parents when I was only five years old, so now that I'm an adult, why should it change?! We all know that he didn't care then, so why now either, right?!"

"I think this is a mixture of anger and guilt," Rawhide whispered to the four with him. They all nodded in agreement, and let the widower continue.

"This whole week, more like two weeks," Buckaroo started again, "I was just thinking: of, if it weren't for me, would still be alive right now. But even if that were the case, would she be ok? I don't know, cause I wouldn't have known here! But either way, she'd probably be better off than she is now, cause she wouldn't be dead like she is now, and I wouldn't feel like everything going on is all my fault!"

The five colleagues watched in shock as Buckaroo ranted and raved. They'd never seen him so mad, and just so… distraught. He'd always been the one who stayed calm and kept his head, so it was like being in a parallel universe to see _him_ the way he currently was. They knew that everything he was saying was the grief talking, and not the scientist himself- but it was still a shocking thing to see.

"I just," Buckaroo started again, but sighed in frustration instead and gingerly placed his hand against his head in frustration, "I don't know… I…" He couldn't find the words to say.

The five all continued to watch as Buckaroo paced back and forth across the office. He then looked to his desk in frustration, grabbed an item randomly and chucked it across the room, letting out an angry yell as he did so. The item ended up being a metal stapler that broke into separate pieces once it collided with the wall and felt randomly across the floor. The five in the office cringed at the loud noise the stapler made as it collided against the wall and the yell that came from their higher up as he threw it, then exchanged worried looks between each other. They all watched cautiously and curiously as he sunk down against the opposite wall, ran his hands over his face, and let out a sigh.

"I can't live without her," Buckaroo said quietly, his face red, "Only two weeks have gone by and look at me: getting myself sick, throwing objects across the room, having breakdowns. And worst of all, I'm probably worrying the five of you, along with everyone else, to death. It's like everything is just crumbling and falling around me and to everyone around me, and that when I'm the only one left, I'll finally fall."

"That's only gonna happen if you don't ask for any help from us," Pinky said gently.

"We're your friends," Perfect Tommy continued, "If you need us, we're here. That's what friends are for."

Buckaroo gave a small smile- the first smile from him in two weeks. After a few minutes of talking between the six, four of the five left the office, except for Mrs. Johnson. She walked up to her boss and friend. "Can I tell you something that I haven't told anyone else?" she asked.

Buckaroo nodded a bit. "Of course."

"First of all, you already know that besides you, I was the absolute last person to talk to Peggy. Do you wanna know what the last thing she said to me was before I left her so she could change?"

He nodded again. "Yes, that would be nice to know, just for closure. Does that make sense?"

She chuckled lightly. "Yeah, it makes sense. And the last thing she said to me was: if I had to die right now, right this moment, I'd die the happiest woman in the world, now that I'm married to the love of my life."

Buckaroo looked down, a weak smile playing on his lips. He felt his eyes begin to tear up a bit and he took a deep breath to keep his new found composure as he looked up at his wife's best friend. "Thank you for telling me this, Mrs. Johnson. You have no idea how much it means to me."

Mrs. Johnson smiled back at him before giving his arm a supportive squeeze. "Just remember, we're all here whenever you need us, alright?" As he nodded, she left the room, gently closing the double doors behind her.

Two weeks later, an exact month after the day Peggy was killed, Buckaroo went into the institute cafeteria like he always would at eight o'clock in the morning. He greeted everyone happily like he always would, and did everything he usually would before that day. Afterwards, once everyone had gone off to the different labs to work on their studies and experiments, he went to work on his own studies, along with finishing his wife's studies that she had left uncompleted in her journals and notebooks.


End file.
